Location: 320 Delaware Ave, Palmerton, PA 18071
Web Page: http://www.hallsofhorror.net/
Halls of Horror (HOH) is the dungeon of pleasurable torture that will leave you laughing, shaking and perhaps emotionally scarred in an experience that is unlike ANY other haunted attraction you will ever visit. No other haunted attraction perhaps in this country has combined an “extreme” haunt with “classical” in a manner so effective, so fun and so at times terrifying as the Halls of Horror. We visit countless haunts and express to those in the industry that they NEED to see what is happening at HOH before passing judgment on those haunts classified as “extreme” as this attraction is in a category by itself. Cautiously gazing downstairs into an ominous dungeon, one immediately becomes victimized by endless psychopaths, murders, butchers, hillbillies and creeps that are all focused in stirring genuine human reactions in each guest. HOH is an ADULT themed haunted attraction, yes there is sexual humor, yes there is physicality, yes you will be covered in “blood” as well as other ruminants and yes you will submit to the most fun, intense, and exhilarating haunted attraction that once again raises the bar on what a “haunt” can be. Prior to our continued review, it is important to note that HOH relies not only on physicality but dark humor and psychology to generate “reactions” in an extremely safe and normal environment. HOH is not some exercise in abuse and not a place where you will go to be beaten up its pure entertainment. If a visit to hell was fun, HOH would be its incarnation as these “rejects” are all down for a good time and a good party aimed at leaving you awestruck and asking perhaps “What the F*ck did I just experience?” as you are released back into the “real” world.
Celebrating its 10th year in operation, HOH has upped its game in all aspects of showmanship, presentation, and interactions between the insane, maniacal scare actors and each guest. We strongly suggest if you are a true fan of horror, or just would like to laugh in a non-PC environment, you partake in the “Blood Experience” as it is well worth the minor price upgrade. A roughly 20-25-minute experience (that feels much longer) guest encounter numerous bizarre characters brought to life upon the backdrop of horrific, interactive set pieces that are custom built for this attraction. Memories and psychological scars are exactly the type of “scares” or reactions HOH thrives upon and strangely it does so in the most of creative, fun ways. Some of the unique interactions we had on our journey include an all-out assault by a flesh-eating family, witnessed one of our reviewers “tenderized” on a butchers table, were forced into a barber’s chair, had to play with a maniac’s “balls” in a demented children’s ball-pit, had to do a “knife dance” with a rather off-color lunatic, witnessed a birth of a hillbillies child and then “oiled up” by the creepiest, sleaziest and most unsettling character perhaps created by any haunted attraction “Uncle Touchy.”
Foul language, sexual themes, violent imagery, and props are the norm in this experience and if you are easily offended at all please stay home. Sensory assault including the use of vial smells to create “reactions” is also a strategy employed by each actor and feeling helpless (and at times hopeless) is such a powerful feeling that it is impossible to predict what is next. No other haunted attraction has mastered this art of psychological and physical fear in such a manner that also creates joy oddly enough at the same time.
Again, we cannot stress enough that the “Blood Experience” is the best way to celebrate HOH’s 10th Anniversary as it is a far more “hands-on” and “intense” show. For those who are concerned about ruining clothes, the “blood” fake “feces” and “chocolate syrup (don’t ask!)” easily wash off and add to the effect of being constantly bombarded by insanity around every corner. You may get separated from your group, you may be subjected to physical restraint, forced to sit in chairs, crawl etc. but oddly enough most people who do not quit leave with a smile on their face. HOH allows guests to let go of any notion of reality, let go of any proclivities or hang-ups they may have in the real world and allows guests to enter a realm in which they are no longer in control of their perceived destinies. Escapism and creation of one’s darkest fantasies in an extremely safe and overall tame environment is what makes HOH so blindly effective. At its core HOH is a traditional, effectively built haunted house, with immersive set designs, masterful use of sound, blinding lights, fog and traditional scenes that celebrate the season. However, the sinister yet always playful “Blood Experience” adds a new layer, perhaps the “next level” of bringing to life a twisted vision of horror that does not always take itself too seriously. HOH has risen to its highest point, with its finest acting performances, interactive yet controlled “violence” and a constant reminder that this attraction is built to truly fuck with your mind more than any place perhaps on Earth. You will be broken in fear, you will smile, and you will feel a sense of accomplishment (yet wish it never ended) as you escape the dungeon of the insane. HOH is designed to leave an ever-lasting impression, one that will plague your nightmares and then evolve into a desire to return to the insanity and surreal world created by this one of kind haunted attraction.
The Final Word
Halls of Horror is a must visit experience this season, reaching a pinnacle of excellence that perhaps can only be surpassed if they are able to expand the attraction. It is hard not to love every single second of your visit to this hellacious structure and we are proud to have supported this attraction since its inception. Other haunts looking for inspiration or perhaps a true idea of “what can be” in the haunt industry would be best served to visit and perhaps schedule a visit with “Uncle Touchy.” HOH perhaps is the most fun you will have in “hell” and you will have fun if you allow yourself to let go of reality and embrace insanity.